haha

New York Stories / Falling Apart at the Seams

Someone I used to know had this on his blog a while back and I just got around to seeing it. While I'm a dedicated procrastinator when it comes to posting new blogs, I'm equally slack at reading them. This is good though:


The Lost Tribes of New York City from Carolyn London on Vimeo.

Just about to head out to my first dodgeball game in almost two months on the DL. My dodgeball injuries include the following:

* Sprained ankle
* Shoulder fatigue
* Tennis elbow
* Possible cartilage damage in the knee
* Stress fracture of the heel
* Shaky hip due to compensation for aforementioned heel issue

So when I rock the game tonight, I'll be sporting three different braces, an Ace bandage, and two sole inserts. I've been psyching myself up all day by watching YouTube videos of little kids getting hit in the face and old clips of this short-lived WWF style dodgeball show on cable tv called Extreme Dodgeball, with characters ranging from the sidearm-wielding mime to the slow, large, beanballing sumo wrestler.

I'll let you know how it goes after my visit to the hospital.

Dropping of the ball

Well now. I wonder if anyone's around anymore. If so, hello. Welcome back. I'm sorry. The ball has been dropped in epic style.

It's been a weird winter, for a number of reasons. Without going into detail, there was some emotional rollercoastering and a lot of beer drinking. But it's spring now, or soon, and hope springs eternal. Which means it doesn't matter what season it is. But you know what I mean.

Just joined Facebook. I was a late bloomer. There are people with whom I haven't spoken in 17 years who are suddenly my friend again. There's a guy I was kind of friends with in high school although we never really hung out, and he friended me. I sent him a message asking how he was, but he never replied. There's the girl I took to the Junior Prom...she friended me. We sent a few messages back and forth, I asked her a few questions, she never answered them. There are people I couldn't have met more than three or four times who friended me. I didn't write them any messages, and they never wrote me any either. So my question is...what's the point?

If you're friends with someone, you know it. If you knew them once and haven't thought about them since, are they really officially your friend? The way I figure it, if you want to friend someone, you send them a message. Ask them how they are. Don't do this reunion thing half assed. Either you want to know them now, or you don't. But don't do it just to get your stupid numbers up. Not to be crass, but having more "friends" just seems to clog your homepage. Do I really care what Molly McHighschool's five favorite Matthew McConaughey rom-coms are?

I care a lot for the people I know. I just don't know if I know some of these knuckleheads anymore, or if I ever did.

You meet a lot of people in your life. Some stick, some don't. Life has a way for throwing you into certain situations with certain people at certain times, and it's kismet. Facebook seems to be just another way of throwing a bunch of people at your wall and seeing who sticks.

This subject keeps coming up in conversation lately. Once you get to a certain age, you realize you've whittled your life down to certain essentials. You know who you are, what you like, who you like, and unless you're looking for a life partner, you've come to terms with what/who you're into socially. At that point, you stick to the plan and do what you do and settle down. So Facebook, while interesting and somewhat addictive in terms of catching up with old friends you actually love, just kind of complexifies things.

My Xmas List

Continuing my tradition of bringing you the latest in absolutely random, useless crap, today's post is about a few things I dug up on Amazon. People review kooky items like a gallon of milk or Sheep magazine and the results are hilarious:

The Badonkadonk Land Cruiser Tank

Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl. oz.

The Relaxman Relaxation Capsule

Uranium Ore

Wedding Chapel - 10 x 18 With Wood Roof

Elk Carcass

UFO Detector

The Secret

Vaseline Uranium Opalescent Glass Rose Butter Dish (only one review, but it's quite good.)

I promise a real post is on its way real soon.

What a loser

I can't believe I haven't blogged in almost two months. Four, if you count my last real post.

Lame!

Never Get Ahead

The one, the only, Bobby Conn. They just don't make music like they did in the 90's.

Remember kids, "You're never gonna get ahead if you're givin' head to the man!"

Just Jack!

Seems the thing to do this week is to post pictures of Brownie Town, aka Jackie Brown, aka my brand new nephew Jack. His mom's doing it, his other uncle's doing it, and now it's my turn.

Here's Jack wondering why so many people are taking pictures of him:



Here's Jack trying to swim away, wondering why it was so much easier in utero:



But that was tiring, so he's learning to deal with fame. Despite the paparazzi.