Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Mellon Collie and the Infinite Blandness

Nobody's ever gonna read it, but I posted a review of Smashing Pumpkins' Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness on Amazon:

oh BILLY, December 11, 2007
By "lunaharpua" (brooklyn) - See all my reviews

Holy cow, was Siamese Dream a masterpiece. Which makes this nonsensically titled wad of bloat a complete letdown and a half.

What happened to Billy's voice? Why does it sound like he's singing from a Lay-z-Boy with new beer-fueled layers of neck fat choking his trachea, producing this new sound, this throttled, screeching goose honk? He never used to sound like that!

And where did the songs go? This tatwaddle from a guy who crafted "Drown" and "Obscured" and "Quiet"? And when did you start taking yourself too seriously, Billy? What did we do to deserve lines like "I'll never be the shine in your spit"?

Oh Billy, what happened?

There are a handful of great tunes on here, but a handful does not a double album make. Did you really have to take out a full page ad in the Chicago Tribune to tell us your solo album was a pile of poop? We KNEW it was, pal.

Word to the wise, Bill: relax. Don't go publishing any more books of poetry. Don't wear black leather smocks, and for god's sake, pack up that Zero t-shirt. You made some great songs there for awhile, and that's something to be proud of. There are even some classic ones on Adore, and one or two on Machina II, but that's as far as I go.

And for you SP fans who stuck with them 'til the end, I've gotta hand it to you. You're a better fan than I am, apparently.

Had to get it off my chest.


Sara J. Allen said...

Interesting. The other day, I was listening to kexp and they played some Smashing Pumpkins song, no idea which one, you know I can never remember the name of any song or album or band when I need to, thus why I am not cool. Anyway, I was never a huge fan, although I was not not a fan, but there was something about when that song played. I was having some crisis of self as usual, can't remember what, but the song made me think of the house on Pineland Circle and high school and a time that for whatever reason I really needed to think about right then, and I was thinking how grateful I was for the Smashing Pumpkins. Funny you should bring them up.

Toothpaste Jones said...

Funny you should post this, Mike. Marco and I are working on this blog called The Red Skull where we write reviews of old(er) albums exclusively. It's a fun respite from writing about only new stuff. If you're interested, you're invited to contribute too.


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