Tuesday, April 22, 2008


You work in an office, you get bored. That's how it is. So my buddy James and I invented a game to keep us from bagging it all and taking off in a Cadillac and going on a crime spree and running from the cops across Arizona and clasping hands and gunning it over the Grand Canyon. It's called Tinhole.

Brief Tinhole Rules:

1. Find a 10'x3' conference table with a cable hole in the middle measuring 1.75" in diameter

(ours looks like this:)

2. If no hole, drill one

3. Form a tightly packed ball of tinfoil measuring 1" in diameter, slightly larger for more challenging play

4. Two players, each sitting on either end of table -- no leaning

5. Remove random crap from table, wipe surface to a sheen. Take turns shooting ball across the table using the following point system, playing to 11 or 21 points, depending on slack time:

Tinhole Point System:

1 pt: shot across hole

2 pts: shot across hole causing bounce or trajectory adjustment

3 pts: shot across hole causing bounce or trajectory adjustment off table (2 pts. if caught by opponent before hitting the floor [without leaving chair])

5 pts: Tinhole (shot in hole; extremely difficult)

-2 pts: shot off side of table without hole interference

-2 pts: inability to receive opponent's shot when in range (between sides of table)

Rule Addendums:

1. To determine first player to shoot, each player attempts Tinhole. The player with the closest shot to the hole goes first, unless a player successfully Tinholes. Upon Tinholing, that player starts the game with 5 pts and the first shot. If there is a tie, each player shoots again until there is a tiebreaker. The winner of each game goes first in the next game.

2. Players cannot gain negative points. Missed saves are therefore null and void until that player accumulates at least 2 pts. The shooter misses his turn and the blocker shoots next.

3. If the ball caroms off a player’s hand, arm, or sleeve and drops to the floor while attempting a block, it counts as a missed save, regardless of the placement or range of the ball at the time.

4. The ball may never leave the table at any time unless a bounce is caused by the hole. Failure to abide by this rule will be corrected with a severe 2 pt. penalty.

Our discovery of Tinhole makes us very happy and keeps us coming back to the office every day. But we're thinking of bagging the job anyway and taking this on the road. Next stop Beijing.


That Obscure Object said...

wow, and i thought our games at "the office" were convoluted. When we are talking shit about a customer (which only happens in extremely trying situations, I swear) and that customer is coming up behind us the other employees says loudly so you can hear and to partly cover up whatever flattering remarks you may be making about the state of their cat pee soaked Daniel Steele novels "Do you have those DVD totals?" IT's the new "Cnadians"

That Obscure Object said...

oh, btw, thnx for posting