Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Dropping of the ball

Well now. I wonder if anyone's around anymore. If so, hello. Welcome back. I'm sorry. The ball has been dropped in epic style.

It's been a weird winter, for a number of reasons. Without going into detail, there was some emotional rollercoastering and a lot of beer drinking. But it's spring now, or soon, and hope springs eternal. Which means it doesn't matter what season it is. But you know what I mean.

Just joined Facebook. I was a late bloomer. There are people with whom I haven't spoken in 17 years who are suddenly my friend again. There's a guy I was kind of friends with in high school although we never really hung out, and he friended me. I sent him a message asking how he was, but he never replied. There's the girl I took to the Junior Prom...she friended me. We sent a few messages back and forth, I asked her a few questions, she never answered them. There are people I couldn't have met more than three or four times who friended me. I didn't write them any messages, and they never wrote me any either. So my question is...what's the point?

If you're friends with someone, you know it. If you knew them once and haven't thought about them since, are they really officially your friend? The way I figure it, if you want to friend someone, you send them a message. Ask them how they are. Don't do this reunion thing half assed. Either you want to know them now, or you don't. But don't do it just to get your stupid numbers up. Not to be crass, but having more "friends" just seems to clog your homepage. Do I really care what Molly McHighschool's five favorite Matthew McConaughey rom-coms are?

I care a lot for the people I know. I just don't know if I know some of these knuckleheads anymore, or if I ever did.

You meet a lot of people in your life. Some stick, some don't. Life has a way for throwing you into certain situations with certain people at certain times, and it's kismet. Facebook seems to be just another way of throwing a bunch of people at your wall and seeing who sticks.

This subject keeps coming up in conversation lately. Once you get to a certain age, you realize you've whittled your life down to certain essentials. You know who you are, what you like, who you like, and unless you're looking for a life partner, you've come to terms with what/who you're into socially. At that point, you stick to the plan and do what you do and settle down. So Facebook, while interesting and somewhat addictive in terms of catching up with old friends you actually love, just kind of complexifies things.


Anonymous said...

I hear you, buddy. I've seen people with hundreds of friends in their Facebook friends lists, which to me seems silly. I'd rather have a few, close friends than hundreds of nameless "adders."

Plus, I use a false last name on Facebook. Why? Because, let's be honest... there are sometimes people out there that you don't WANT to find you again.

And since you made the cut, you know you're in the top percentile. :)

--Boston Matty

millionsuns said...

I'm blushing. That's nice dude. Right back atcha.

idlewildeone said...

I think a lot of it is just curiosity-- the way you'd talk to an old chem-lab partner at a class reunion. You catch up, see who ended up doing what where, but then you move on with your life with sated curiosity. You're right though,it's pointless and awkward to keep getting updates about people you already know enough about to be happy.
The only argument I have in favor of pointless hangers-on, is that since a lot of people I grew up with have turned out to have a fundamentalist right wing stance, it's been informative seeing their opinions on politics and the economy on a daily basis. Infuriating at times, granted, but it's a perspective I'm not likely to get from my legitimate friends. So I'm kind of learning, at least.

millionsuns said...

That's a good philosophy. Your lemonade sounds delicious.